Sometimes I wonder why trying is even worth it. Only some times though, about a small percentage of the time I wonder about it, is probably equal to 6% maybe 8% of the time. I mean that isn’t that bad, I know some people think about that shit like 80% of the time, and don’t even bother. I do bother though. I make an honest attempt at things. Yes sometimes I fail, sometimes I do stupid things. Sometimes I forget that the world doesn’t revolve around my problems. But that doesn’t mean that I am not allowed to feel emotional repressed, or to even do the opposite and let my emotions out. For all of those who don’t really know me, and for those who think they do. Here is something you should probably know. When I am emotional compromised, kind of like Spock in the new Star Trek Movie. I tend to let my flaws, and all my personal failing come to the surface. I become Arrogant, selfish, and self entitled. I smoke more, a lot more, like a pack a day or more. I also am easily offended, and well you know feel like shit. But it’s a small percentage I swear.
The rest of the time, I rebound, the rest of the time, I treat all of those around me with respect. I actually listen to what people have to say, and I learn people. The rest of the time, you ask me to do something I will without asking for anything in return. The rest of the time I will do something special for you even if you don’t see the meaning behind it. The rest of the time I will be loyal and devote like a good girl going to church on Sunday. I walk the walk and I talk the talk. I show you honesty and truth, and I try to let you in as far under my armor as possible. I make myself vulnerable to you.
And in return, I get told that I am not good enough. That I don’t have a job! That you can’t let me in cause of your own personal problems. Look I have baggage too, but I do the best to make sure that you are not the one that has to carry that shit. But at the end of the day, what can do about that. You live on, you keep going. You find a way to make ends meet, you do what you need to do. Remember people, we are free! Ha ha ha. Case and point is that no mater what words I type here, no mater how often I rant and rave, things don’t change. They will stay the same, and people will evolve or they wont. End point.